Jailhouse Strip Club Can't Stop, Won't Stop
We’ve talked about interesting gentlemen’s clubs from all over the world. Converted crab boats turned into floating strip clubs. Clubs with their own special currency for an exclusive clientele. Artistic strip clubs led by former Republican politicians trying win liquor licenses. We explored Taiwanese stripper funeral processions (in text form only, unfortunately, they sound like something you must see for yourself in person.) People will get their erotica however, whenever, and wherever they want. And that’s why there’s a jailhouse strip club in Chicago, serving a literal captive and exclusive audience.
Okay, so it’s not JUST a strip club. It’s a parking garage across the street from Chicago’s Metropolitan Correctional Center. And, as wild as it would be otherwise, it isn’t just a venue for strippers to get down. Witnesses have reported less risqué acts on display, such as the ever-enticing “families and children waving at the prison for loved ones stuck on the inside” act. Fun for the whole family!
It’s… kinda heartwarming, actually.
Jailhouse strip club has operated for years
Tenants at a nearby high-rise apartment complex say the shows have been a regular thing. Which leads up to the obvious question of why and how has this not been shut down. You’d think the Feds would get proactive at limiting the sort of entertainment inmates can enjoy. But it turns out laws are hard, and private property is still private property. Which means that inmates can still get hard watching strippers do what they do best on private property, which is exactly what the parking garage is.
And some very private moments have been on public display on this private property. Briana Fitzgibbons, a local resident, claims she saw two fully-nude women in the process of thoroughly helping each other enjoy themselves. Lesbian sex is not a regular act at this club, but it is one among many.
Lawyers from offices near the prison also claim having witnessed some spicy shows while burning the midnight oil. And where some witnesses claim this has been going on for years, others claim the jailhouse strip club has been operating for decades.
And nobody has shut it down for good yet. Are the guards in on this or what?!
For years, inmates have been arranging shows for their fellows as a way of establishing power and influence. One such event organizer was Thaddeus “T.J.” Jimenez, a Chicago gang leader of significant repute. He claims he never paid the ladies who danced for him, but that they were merely expressing their love.
The show that might keep going on
The Feds are unable to do much about the jailhouse strip club beyond firm statements made on paper. The parking garage owners claim they know nothing about the club or the performances, but there was a strangely increased security presence after the Chicago Sun-Times story ran.
For now, it looks like the club hasn’t been shut down. So, if you happen to be visiting friends or family near the Chicago Metropolitan Correctional Center, maybe you can catch an act or two at one of the more unique strip clubs ever. Some advice for you though: the polite way to show appreciation is to flick the lights of your room on and off—that’s how inmates at the MCC do it.