The Palomino Club Blog

Strip Club MVP Jersey (Not) Retired

August 4, 2017  |   12:00 pm

James Harden has been making waves in the NBA, and his new home of Houston. A recent contract that extends his stay until at least 2023 is worth almost $170 million. By the time the contract is up, he stands to have earned $228,000,000. That’s a lot of money for any young man, but Mr. Harden has shown a philanthropic side to his wealth. At least to the girls at the Dreams strip club in Houston. Local legends and misreporting claim that the NBA MVP is also a strip club MVP complete with jersey hanging from the rooftop.

As the story goes, James Harden spent so much money at Dreams, the club decided that he’d reached some sort of pinnacle of balling out of control. Nothing and nobody could ever surpass this. So, while he may have to redeem himself on court after an EPIC beating in the 2017 playoffs, he’ll always be top dog here.

Hell, Dreams was the first place James went to after the playoffs. Shaking asses to soothe one so sore after a most vicious kicking.

Will the Raiders bring Las Vegas a Strip Club MVP?

Yes. The real question is how many, rather than if there will be any.

No names need to be named, it’s a basic law of the professional sports universe: pros bring the green to the club. Laws of attraction, laws of physics, laws of money. Las Vegas has the hottest exotic dancers and acts anywhere. And people already do throw a LOT of money at our clubs. Palomino knows it, any club worth the name knows it. People spend so much at our clubs, we come up with interesting ways for people to do it.

No really, we even have a club out here that is seriously accepting bitcoin. If we have robots serving beer now, we will definitely find some new and exciting way to get people lining up at our doors. It’s what we do.

So yeah, we bet our asses that players will sit their asses and throw their assets at our girls willingly. We’ll have our own strip club MVPs, and maybe, unlike our friends in Houston, we’ll actually hang some real jerseys in honor of our new VIPs.