Stormy Daniels is about to rain on Donald Trump
It simply wouldn’t be the Donald Trump presidency without a new controversy cropping up every five minutes. In his whirlwind tour of every major PR disaster to visit any president, ever, our arguably dear leader is borrowing from the Clinton years this week. Stormy Daniels has hinted at her own unique take on the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
Yes, the porn starlet, winner of awards including “Best Safe Sex Scene”, “Favorite Breasts” and 2008’s XRCO “Mainstream Adult Media Favorite”. She has probably seen Donald Trump naked.
As reported by The Blast, and many other news outlets, she’s even got The Dress that was worn when It Happened. Blood, sweat, tears, and anything else that got pressed and blasted into the skimpy gold mini-dress is allegedly preserved in all its glory. Apparently Stormy Daniels knew she got a good thing going on and decided to hold onto it as is.
Yes, the years that got at least one half of American politics clutching their pearls while also playing wingman and covering up the indiscretions of their own collection of misfits, miscreants, and outright fucking bastards now seem primed to repeat themselves, again. We can all pretend to be surprised, again, that a politician or super-rich individual tried to get away with some sex on the side, again.
Now we can all wait with bated breath for DNA testing. Again.
Life would be so much easier for some of these people they just admitted they like to have sex, sometimes or oftentimes outside of the marriage.
It’d also be great if they stayed away from children.
Why is Stormy Daniels going all in on The Donald?
The affair allegedly took place in 2006, shortly after first lady Melania Trump gave birth to her son. The affair remained hidden, even as Trump’s presidential aspirations went public. You can bet if anyone else knew about it before then, it’d have gotten out. Politics is a dirty and brutal game.
The Wall Street Journal reported in January that Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s personal ‘fix-it’ lawyer, had reached out to Stormy Daniels through a private company. The price for her silence? A cool $130,000 out of his own pocket, which he claims he was never reimbursed for by Trump, or anyone connected to his campaign.
At the time, it was less than a month before the 2016 elections. Stormy was in talks to rain some salacious bombs through The Daily Beast. However, the hush money and an alleged agreement encouraged her to remain silent until now.
This February, this week, Cohen admitted that he made the payment. This is after a political watchdog group suggested the payment should be considered an undeclared campaign expense. Cohen’s statement is being seen as a breach of the non-disclosure agreement. Stormy Daniels own legal counsel has stated that “Everything is off now, and Stormy is going to tell her story.”
Will this mean anything along with everything else these people get up to?
Let’s be honest, probably not.
At this point the mental gymnastics going on to justify everything The Donald does would win fucking gold medals at the Olympics decades from today. But it is hilarious to see unfold, especially to people who try to pretend they hold the high moral ground on just about anything. It’s like a wine that stays permanently aged to perfection, it never, ever gets old.
And it opens so many possibilities! Donald isn’t the richest man in the world, far from it, but he’s certainly tried to live up to a similar reputation. You’ve got to wonder how many ‘agreements’ like this one have been made. When you’ve got the, uh, exotic tastes of a man squandering his inheritance at his own whimsy, you probably have seen quite a few ladies. Stormy Daniels could literally have opened some flood gates here, and its high comedy.