The Palomino Club Blog

Monkey Business at Miami Beach Strip Club

March 23, 2018  |   4:18 pm

Because it’s Florida, something “Florida” will happen to people and places that lay within. Thanks to the Internet, great and flawed as it is, the chronicles of one of the more interesting states in our blessed union thing are preserved. Future generations will be able to look back and collectively ask “What The Fuck?” when they read about this particular superstar or that one. And sometimes the stories aren’t just about people, but the animals of the state. For example, the King of Diamonds North Miami Beach strip club that was visited by a monkey that may have escaped from a Dania Beach primate lab.

No word yet as to how well the monkey tipped the girls at the club.

Animals at a Miami Beach strip club isn’t necessarily uncommon

Every strip club anywhere in the world has to bring something unique to the table if it wants to stay in business. When city officials are basically looking for any excuse they can use to shut you down, or just plain ol’ forgetting you exist, you need an edge on the competition. Even if that competition isn’t another strip club.

So, animal acts. Not exactly a new thing, we’ve all seen pictures of gorgeous models with snakes draped over their shoulders. The self-proclaimed Topless Prophet himself, Alan Markovitz, brought a chimpanzee on stage for his girls. Another Miami night club had a woman in a bikini ride in bareback on a horse… which did not end well (the club got its business license revoked). And then there’s this sizzling performance captured on camera, featuring a pole dance and a different kind of trouser snake.

The monkey visit may not have been planned by this strip club, but we think they’d be crazy to not try and capitalize on this.

The monkey, who might be named Mikey if it’s the same escapee from the primate lab, has yet to be captured as of this writing. Miami’s finest are on the case, but maybe the best thing to do is to get one of the girls from King of Diamonds in front of the club. Give her a stage, a pole, and a basket of banana. She might not find Mikey right away, but Mikey might come out of hiding to find her. And the bananas.